According to Urban Dictionary, a “sub” is the abbreviation for subliminal. It is an underhanded comment directed at a specific person meant to insult/embarrass them publicly on a social networking site (usually Facebook).

Many complain about it…and just as many do it. But, why? To what end?

I’ve never completely understood subs. Lol, hear me out. I’m not saying I’m “above” them, not in the least. Rather, I’m one to type it out just for the petty relief, then delete it–I don’t actually post them. My philosophy is, if I have an issue with someone, I’ll take it up with them. Simple. Why go through the energy draining, juvenile, and tiresome effort of showing my petty side when it’s not warranted?

I’ll admit, it feels good to type one out. It feels even better to see it get noticed and “liked” by others–it’s validating. It’s as though you’re getting the last word, the last hurrah, and everyone agrees with you. Still, I implore you to take a beat before posting. Distance yourself to see the issue clearly:

• Has this person(s) said what they said to deliberately hurt or disrespect you?

• Did you take what the person(s) said personally when, really, they were speaking generally?

• Does this person(s) typically carry good intention? Maybe this was a slip up for them?

• Will you even remember all of this in a year’s time?

• How will posting this sub make you look to your account’s followers?

• Do you actually have the time to deal with the potential fall out from posting? (if you do, that’s the problem right there.)

If you’re a recurring sub poster, maybe it’s time to start thinking about the kind of conversations that tend to trigger you. Perhaps you shouldn’t be engaging with them with those you know will disagree with you. Am I an advocate for surrounding yourself with people that agree with everything you’re saying or think? Absolutely not. But, look, sometimes certain topics call for it, especially deeply personal ones or those that you perceive as insulting your values, beliefs, or experiences. Censor your surroundings and just be at peace.

Please don’t always do this though. There shouldn’t be an entire list of topics you’re incapable of talking about with those beyond your “yes men”. That indicates a larger issue at hand. Challenge yourself to ask the questions outlined above during one of those conversations. You might just find that it’ll calm you down and offer a helpful perspective.

All I’m saying is, think before you post. Sub posters tend to come out on bottom…not on top, loves.