My Uncle Poppy past away on July 22nd, 2021.

I’ve kept that information to myself for a little over nine months now. His passing was the first I have ever experienced of someone close to me that struck me to my core. He was more than just my uncle. He was my ultimate confidant, my guide, and one of my best friends. I could be crying my eyes out and this man would find some way to get me to start howling with laughter.

I’ve never cried harder over someone’s death.

I miss him so much. Tears threaten to fall whenever I think of him.

My Uncle Poppy was one of the few men in my life that I could tell absolutely everything about myself without feeling judged, weird, or misunderstood. Nothing was off the table or taboo. He was invested in learning about my interests, my life, and who I was. He never tried to assert his will on me or tell me how I should be. He just let me be and gently guided me to see all angles of the picture so I could make my own decision.

He was my go-to for talking about boys and family issues. I could say so little and he’d hear so much. I could always trust he’d understand what I was trying to say when the proper words failed to come. He read between the lines of my venting sessions expertly and without impatience.

I guess the point of me writing all this is that I’m grieving. I’ve grieved over lost friendships and the like, but this…this is so different. This was the man that I wanted to dance with at my wedding. This was the man that was going to hold my future kids. This was the man whose laughter was going to ring in my ears forever. And now, all I hear is silence.

I find myself picking up the phone to tell him a funny story or to catch him up on family gossip and all I’m met with is a dial tone. I relisten to his voicemail messages weekly just so I don’t forget his voice.

All that’s left of him are ashes. Ashes whose bland coloring don’t dare match the color of his lively spirit.

I have so much love to share with this man and nowhere to put it.

Our calls would always end with him saying, “Alexa Claire, you’re my favorite”. Well Uncle Poppy, you’re my favorite.

He was the best uncle a girl could ask for.

When my time comes, he’s the first I’d like to visit with.