Learning to Control Regrets
/Art Credit: Sydnee Martin
Everyone must choose one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.
- Jim Rohn
I was recently asked if I have any regrets over my past choices. Short answer: Absolutely.
By now, though, you all know I am not a woman of few words, haha. I hope you enjoy the read and that it speaks to you.
I feel regret over past choices I have made all the time. Everyday.
But I learned to force myself to remember: I trust myself and my character enough to stop negatively judging my past self, instead choosing to learn from her. I’m not proud of all of my past actions, thoughts, or decisions, — or how they may have affected others— but they happened and there is no escaping that. I’ve had to come to peace with that and hope that with every tomorrow that comes, I will make better, more informed, more empathetic choices, and give apologies where they are due.
Self-discipline has always been difficult for me in my personal life. When it comes to work, I’m on top of everything, but intimate struggles are a completely different matter. Luckily, lol, dealing with regret is something I’ve had a lot of practice with, and I’ve found that forcing myself to stop beating myself up is the only way I can manage to get through it.
I think that is the key in the process of loving yourself: being kind to you. Because it is just that, “a process”. Our “selves” are constantly changing with each new chapter of our lives. Every page has a different love language that needs to be learned. There’s never complete fluency. How can there be if the language is always changing? It becomes a process. The only way to truly love ourselves then becomes finding peace in and loving our process.
I’m learning to find peace in my process, even though it can be so darn frustrating and joyful and sad and sweet. There is no peace in replaying the regretful choices of my past, So, I choose to force myself to not seek them out. Why put the extra stress on my shoulders? Let the past rest.
